HEllo!

I grew up in small-town Texas, raised by two happy, monogamous parents who’ve been together for 45 years. No dramatic childhood backstory to blame my modern relationship perspective on. I went to church every Sunday, so I grew up with the fairytale idea of Prince Charming, “the one,” and happily ever after.

But I was also exposed to the world early. My family moved to Austria when I was young, and later I lived in New Orleans (where I evacuated for Hurricane Katrina), Germany, and eventually the Netherlands. I’ve worked in advertising for over a decade and can speak pretty decent German. Every new culture taught me that there’s always another way to live, love, and see the world. Learning another language taught me humility.

Fifteen years ago, I met my husband in Amsterdam, where we both worked. I thought I’d found him — the one. A few months in, he asked if I’d consider an open relationship. That conversation changed everything. We spent the next two years defining what commitment meant for us, and honestly, we’re still refining it.

It’s been a rollercoaster.

If you’re somewhere in that process yourself, I get it. I’ve been there. I had to unlearn so many ideas we’re taught about love and partnership: that jealousy equals love, that divorce equals failure, that there’s one person meant for you. Over time, I realized great relationships aren’t found. They’re built.

After Amsterdam, we spent twelve years in Seattle and the Bay Area. We told friends and family about being open, something I don’t recommend doing until you’re ready to answer the tough questions. Because the people who love you most usually ask the hardest ones.

By now, I’ve heard every hard question from friends, family, and plenty of internet strangers. In 2022, I started sharing our story on TikTok and Instagram. I expected judgment. I didn’t expect how many people would reach out with gratitude, curiosity, and their own stories. That connection turned into a growing community of people exploring relationships that don’t fit the mold.

Today, I live in the UK with my husband and our two kids, raising what I like to call global citizens.

I host monthly virtual events, post Q&As on Instagram, and write essays on Substack. I’m also writing a book about our open marriage, the raw, funny, and very human story of what it means to love freely while staying deeply committed.

Thanks for being here.

Whether you’re just curious or deep in your own exploration, I hope this space helps you feel less alone and a little more understood.

TOUGHEST QUESTIONS

AND MY RESPONSES

  • We are. We just don’t expect one person to meet every need. My husband doesn’t have to be my best friend, co-parent, business partner, and romantic adventure all at once. He’s my home base. Our relationship gives us space to grow, and sometimes that growth happens through other connections. It’s not about being “enough.” It’s about being honest about what we need to feel whole.

  • Because we want to be. For us, marriage isn’t about ownership. It’s about partnership. We’re committed to building a life together, raising our kids, and supporting each other’s freedom. Our version of commitment isn’t defined by exclusivity—it’s defined by choice. And we choose each other, over and over again.

  • Then I’ll be heartbroken. And I’ll survive. Just like anyone else who’s ever loved deeply and lost. Being open doesn’t make us immune to pain—it makes us honest about the risks we’re already taking in love. People in monogamous relationships lose each other too, just sometimes more quietly. I’d rather love fully and freely than pretend forever is guaranteed.

  • They already know love comes in many forms. We talk openly in age-appropriate ways about honesty, respect, and boundaries. What I want them to see is that relationships can look different and still be rooted in trust. My hope is that they grow up knowing they can design a life that fits them—not one that just follows the rules.